I've always known and (mostly) acknowledged that I'm a fairly selfish person. I really *want* stuff and when I don' get it I can sulk with the best of them. There have been many decision in my life that would have seemed like sensible, helpful, even generous decisions, that were really, deep down, motivated by my own ego. I am a very jealous person too... not so much of romantic relationships but of friendships and of opportunties and recognition.
Anyway the reason I'm pondering this today is that I was thinking about the whole situation in Lebanon and Israel etc. I really know hardly anything about it (I don't watch the news... I know I should but that time of day is always hectic enough without trying to concentrate on the world's problems... I should put the radio on during the day maybe...) but I just get the sense of somethingbig and awful going on... not that those words do it justice at all... but, my goodness, people's whole lives and thee history and future of several countries are at stake here. And yet I hardly even think about it. As if my own little world and my own selfish desires are more worth thinking about than the lives and lifestyles of millions of people.
Now, I've always agreed that things are relative... that just because other people have bigger struggles, doesn't make your own struggles any smaller for you personally. And I do believe that is true. But really, one must stop and think about these things, and remind oneself how lucky I really am to be worrying about the amount of time it'll take to get my career going rather than the amount of time it'll be before my family and children are threatened by war.
Hopefully when I'm successful and wealthy (positive thinking...), I'll do the right thing and help out as many needy people as I can. Feel free to quote me on that, when the time comes. :)